did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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