hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
