So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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