Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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