We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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