singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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