Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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