In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
