You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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