Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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