Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
