Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
