I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your face is a jimmy john
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
