somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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