Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
