I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
