I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
