Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
