Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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