marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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