you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
