The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
