He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
