we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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