She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize