You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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