I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
3 2 1 whiskey
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
