True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
