giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
