don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
