you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
