I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
