just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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