I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
