i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
