He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
