I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
