hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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