Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
