haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His nipple licking is glorious
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