I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
