It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
