my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
