I am puke
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
