he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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