yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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