worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
