Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
