4 words: hood of his car
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
