she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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