It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how drunk are you?
Several
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
